Now, before I say more, let me say, this happens to me all the time... .once someone knows that I've had more than the average 1.2 number of children, one of two things happen.... either they spend the next 20 minutes explaining to me why they could never handle having more children..... or they spend that time telling me about how much they want another child, but their spouse (usually the husband, but not always) won't let them have anymore....
As I have engaged in so many of these conversations, I have learned to point out that "working on" their spouse will not work as much as prayer.... I point to the fact that what is needed is a "heart-change" that can only come by the Holy Spirit. "Pray," I say, "for him to come to realize the heart of God towards children." Often, the young mom is wanting just "one more" child that the husband is holding out on, but when I talk about this heart-change, I am expanding on that desire for one more....
One of the most difficult things for men to understand, from what I have seen in these situations is that they are not really the "providers" for their children. I mean, God did design men to provide for their families, yes. But, ultimately, it is the Lord who is the Provider for any child He sends... .and He is faithful to show this. Many men do not realize what a lack of faith can be shown simply by saying, "We can't afford another child." At least, to me, that would be like saying that God can't afford another child. But, the economic realities do make it hard, and I wouldn't tell someone who had no faith that they should keep having children. I just won't tell anyone to permanently stop having children...... because circumstances change all the time.....
We often found that after having a child, the Lord would bless us profusely. I can't tell you how many large raises, gifts from people, even vehicles given to us came right after having a child. Even when we had our 8th child, and 9 months later, my husband lost his job.... we saw, for 2 years, how the Lord provided for us again and again... and no, we never did use government assistance... not that we thought there was anything wrong with that, but every time we thought we would need it, the Lord provided money, food, or clothing, a temp job, etc. just in time, so we always felt we needed to wait. We never did sign up for any benefits of any kind at all, and amazingly never had any medical situations in that period of time (though just before and just after had HUGE bills that insurance covered.....) He took care of us through the entire time, and grew our faith and the faith of our children, but it was not easy, nor for the faint of heart.
What is the heart of God towards children? Well, they are the most precious of all treasure.... the only treasure allowed from this world into Eternity! I realized at one point that we can never overpopulate Heaven. The things we worry about here in this fallen world are not important in the grand scheme of Eternity... but children ARE that important! If we could really grasp what the precious souls of children really mean to our Heavenly Father, it would be much harder to ever say, "I don't want anymore children."
What we really don't want, when we don't have His perspective, is the hard work that comes with that responsibility. Now, I am not talking about men and women who want to have children and can't. Nor am I talking about moms and dads who have children, but can't have more.... but, there are those who don't really grasp how much of an influence and power they can be, simply by raising children who will then have influence and power in their own parts of the world. If this influence and power includes faith in Jesus Christ, it can have a huge impact!
I remember once, not too long after I was saved, when the Lord showed me this "picture" in my head of a pyramid made of people... at the top were my husband and myself, and then children, and grand children, great-grandchildren, etc. and I began to see the influence my own confession of faith could have on changing a part of the world in the future. At that time, I had 4 children and thought maybe the Lord wanted us to have 5 or 6. I never suspected we'd eventually have 8! Imagine that if each "progeny" had an average of four children, then that would mean 32 grandchildren, 128 great-grandchildren, and 512 great-great-grandchildren! If each one actually did pass down their faith as well (yes, I know some may not... but just theoretically....) then this could have a huge impact in the future on this world. Read about Jonathan Edwards or Susannah Wesley to see how true this was for their families.
Do I always have my heart in line with the Lord's in regards to children? No. I do not... I am like anyone and I get tired and focused on other things...all of my pregnancies were hard for me and for those around me..... and I am not the most attentive mother in the world. I have to ask Him for the right attitude, sometimes daily.
It is natural and normal to want more free time and less financial strain.... I listen to others talk about vacations, new cars, and remodeling projects in their homes and I feel a little like I am missing out on something.... but then, my 4yo daughter, the 8th child, comes along and talks to me about little roly-poly buggies in the ground and how they don't bite and all you have to do is pick them up and put them on your hand (as I listen in total shock... all 7 siblings before her were terrified of any kind of insect at her age...) and I am amazed at how special, individual and precious this child is... and I really wouldn't trade her for all the vacations, new cars, and remodeling projects in the world.
I'll admit, most of the time when I see a family with fewer children, I wonder if they realize some of what they are missing out on... .but I recognize that it is for the Lord to determine how each family is to be. But I can't help but wonder if they know what it is like to see a teenage son playing Frisbee with his 9yo little brother, or watching a 12yo daughter teaching her 7yo sister to cook and her 4yo sister to break eggs into a bowl... or to see a 23yo son come home with treats to share with his younger siblings... or an 18yo boy who asks if he could do some read alouds with his younger siblings. Or the joy that the little ones have when their 21yo brother who lives far away comes home for a visit.
Well, maybe they just can't know.... but I am very blessed to have that insight. So, I keep praying that the Lord will help me continue to have my heart in line with His for children, and that I may find ways to encourage young moms and pray for the impact the Lord may have through our family.
"Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least
among you all who is the greatest.”Luke 9:48
