What Needs to Come Out of the Closet... or Secrets of a Word Hoarder.....

The front page of "volume 2" of the family history....

     I have finally been able to work on cleaning out a closet that I have a lot of sentimental things stored in.... I had wanted to clean it out this past summer, but of course, with my recent illness, that did not happen. I am cleaning one shelf at a time, and the shelves are deep, so there is a lot to go through.... 

     I have a box that contains handwritten letters that I received the first year that I was married..... I read several, and cherished not only the words, but also the signatures which I consider the last treasure a person leaves behind on this earth when they depart. I was thinking about how nowadays, people don't write handwritten letters or leave behind their signatures.... it is all typed, and most of it not even printed.... I know that has been true for me, lately .... makes me a little sad....

     I pulled out old journals and saw hundreds... probably thousands of prayers written out... I can't even tell you how many journals I have, but 4 of them are 1 in. binders, crammed full,  plus, there are about 8 spiral bound notebooks... and I'm pretty sure there are a few little lock & key diaries as well... I'm sure no one will ever read them, (my kids claim they can't read my handwriting at all!) but I love to consider a particular event or date, and see if I have an entry close to that time and find out what I was thinking....

     My faith grew up in those journals!! And my words, when I read them, minister to me now as if they were brand new, written by someone else. I am usually shocked by my depth of insight 10 or 20 yrs. ago, as I feel like I am often re-learning so many things. It is interesting to see how some prayers have been answered and other prayers have been prayed over and over and over....not that they weren't answered, but rather that the heart continues to desire more and more....

     I pulled out my scrapbooks full of the Christmas newsletters I have written. I started writing my newsletters in December, 1990, with our firstborn's first Christmas. I have saved a copy of every newsletter, as well as photos, and have never missed a year, though there were many years when I considered it. In my very first Christmas newsletter, I promised, in the first paragraph, that it was my intention to record some of our family history and to keep a record every year thereafter, and I am so glad I have been able to do it. I don't know if people like to read them, (well, ok, I do know that SOME people like to read them because I have been told that I better not forget to send them.... LOL,) but my children LOVE them. 

A work in progress... newsletters with photos
 from every Christmas since 1990

     As you can imagine, I am way too detailed in my earlier writings (that improved some, but mostly out of necessity as we have had more children-- no one wants to read a 10 page newsletter!) 

     For awhile, at Advent, in the past, we would read one letter each night and look at the photographs. The younger children are particularly fascinated with this whole entire childhood their brothers lived before they themselves had come on the scene. The older boys love the reminiscing... I am always amazed at how so much of it seems like it was just yesterday.... and other things, I have completely forgotten!!! 

     I need a new scrapbook to hold the last few years. Plus, I have the "Special Edition" newsletters announcing births, mission trips, a move to a new house, and even a special announcement of a little one who was miscarried.... I confess, though I wrote them, I truly love my newsletters.

     I wonder how future generations will preserve their history? In the past, the way to do so was through letters, journals, old calendars, and even household ledgers... but so much of what people have written down now is also easily deleted... I have lost so much on crashed computers, it will make me sick if I think too hard about it.... One reason I write on my FB and this blog is because then, I know where it is. But, if something happens to these websites (like my first blog site that disappeared, ugh... ) then I will lose all of this history, too! 

     I know I do, indeed, live a bit too much in the past at times, but I love a good story, and what story do I know better than my own? My favorite aspect of my newsletters is seeing the transformation from the earliest letters to when I became a saved Christian and to see how my methods of sharing my experiences in Christ have matured and deepened over the years.... my faith has been shared in those Christmas newsletters!!! I hope others have been affected by that, but I have to say, it has probably affected ME the most!! When we share our own story of God's faithfulness, we can't help but be encouraged!

     What I want to know is.... what do other people do? 

     How do you preserve your family's history?! Leave a comment below... I'd love to hear your ideas!

07-04-14 Pops Concert

07-04-14 Pops Concert



My son was at Masterworks near Winona Lake. This is the concert that the musicians held on the 4th of July. There is the opportunity to see my son, Zachary, running around acting like a dinosaur during a Jurassic Park musical tribute. :-)

Finding Help and Hope for Dyslexia

*DISCLAIMER: Please keep in mind that the following is basically my opinion from my own experience with this issue. I am not a therapist, researcher, doctor or professional special education specialist. I am a mother of children with dyslexia, and I have researched on my own. I certainly may be incorrect on my own findings, in a broad general sense, but this article comes out of my own observations. I cannot be responsible for any inconsistencies that another person may find with their own experience with this issue. My hope is to offer encouragement to other parents seeking information to help their own children.

When I first realized my oldest son had something going on, it was actually when he was still in school, before I started homeschooling him. However, I assumed if there was a learning disability or some other issue, the school would recognize it, identify it, and offer a solution to the problem. Most people who haven't actually been involved with a child who has learning challenges make this assumption as well. I had many try to tell me what the school would do for my son if I put him back in school, even as I knew they were completely wrong. 

Instead, as I saw his ability to keep up in school and his emotional health deteriorate, I had to pull him out of school in 5th grade. I had to work with him for a couple of years, while researching furiously at the same time, until I found something that seemed likely. By the time I had looked at dyslexia, I had read about learning styles, temperaments and personality, visual spatial learning, sensory integration dysfunction, Asperger's Syndrome, expressive speech disorder, oral motor sensory disorder, and finally, dyslexia. It took me three years of my own researching to realize that this was the likely culprit, mainly because I had so many misunderstandings of what dyslexia encompassed. And, by then, I realized two more of my children had the signs as well. My oldest son was now 14 years old, and high school was looming on the horizon. I was so afraid I wouldn't know how to help him.

Now, let me say, many researchers/scientists/therapists/doctors, etc. also have various ideas of what dyslexia is or isn't and whether it is truly even a "disorder." For many it is too broad a diagnosis, for some it is too narrow. If a child is suspected of having dyslexia, and they are in the school system, it is often overlooked. If the child is intelligent enough and depending on the kind of dyslexia and the child's ability to compensate, it will often be considered a "behavioral" problem. 

Almost every person I have personally known who has had their child tested by the school system has told me that their child did not have dyslexia.... instead, they are "borderline." As I said in my last blog, to me, that is like being a "little bit pregnant." I have heard it so often, I could predict it before a child was tested. Some parents have such faith in the school system, they don't want to hear what I have to say about it.... though, after a few months of trying to work with the school, they will often THEN come back and ask me for more information.

It isn't that the school system wants children to fail, but parents have to realize that if the children are diagnosed with dyslexia, then the state HAS to pay for therapy.... and therapy is expensive.... so, you have to have just the right kind and right amount of trouble to get help. Most kids do not get the right kind of help. Most are not even tested unless a parent pushes for it. 

Private options are very expensive, and many places are not covered by insurance at all. We found one place where our insurance would actually cover 50% of the therapy (which was still very expensive...) or through my husband's employer, the Employee Assistance Program paid 80% . Since we found that three of our children had dyslexia and needed therapy, we went through the Employee Assistance Program. It was amazing to us that this option became known to us, as we did not know it existed until the very week that we were getting testing done for one of our sons. 

The greatest relief for me in our sons receiving therapy was that I was no longer trying to figure it out by myself... I was no longer guessing at what worked and what didn't work. My sons' all improved from the therapy and had a dramatic increase in their ability to read and comprehend. My oldest son suddenly loved reading books that were too difficult for him before, like, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. He began writing his own book and wanted to learn more about writing. All of them learned about rules that helped them spell, so that they are now all good spellers. My own education about how to teach children with dyslexia expanded dramatically, and this helped my younger children.

One of the first things I noticed after they started their therapy was that dyslexia was no longer a big deal at our house... now it was an asset. Many people don't understand that when you have a brain that is prone to dyslexia, you have a very creative, intelligent, and sometimes downright amazing brain. When they are taught to deal with the difficulties, the positive elements begin to be released. 

Now, I know for some people, their dyslexia is much more severe than my sons' and they truly struggle their whole lives with it. More often than not, they were not able to receive the correct help either, which compounds the problem. Some receive help, but the dyslexia is severe enough to still be a problem. It is different with each person who has dyslexia. Even my brother who is in his 40's laments not being able to do something to correct the issues he still struggles with. He has learned many coping strategies, and has been successful because of how intelligent and gifted he is, but he feels frustrated because he is still so very limited. It isn't impossible at a later age to get the correct help, but it is harder... it takes time, determination, and unfortunately, money. 

Early intervention makes the most sense, but so many children who could be identified very young as being "prone" to dyslexia and could be taught so that they don't develop the full blown dyslexia that causes reading problems are not being caught because the schools often ignore it until it becomes a true problem... which isn't until about 4th or 5th grade... even then, it is often treated as mentioned before as a behavioral problem, and help may be delayed until junior high or high school... if ever.... 

So, what can be done? How can a dyslexic child be helped optimally while they are still young? I will think some more about this for my next blog. I will try to explain what has helped my younger children who all had dyslexic tendencies, but who are all doing very well with spelling, writing, and reading so far. (At ages 12, 9, 7, and 4.) The beauty of what I have learned to help my children, is that it works well for children who are NOT dyslexic. It is helpful to children who are just eager learners, ready to read. It only helps them to become even better readers. For those with dyslexic-prone brains, it doesn't mean that they will stop having dyslexic tendencies, but their weaknesses will be strengthened so their strengths can be released.

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path..." Psalm 119:105

Five Misconceptions I Had of Dyslexia

When parents first suspect their child may have dyslexia, and they ask me about testing, I often wonder if they have any idea what they are really getting into. My mind immediately goes back to the memories of those days of frightening confusion when I didn't know what was wrong or what to do. So much research I had to do on my own because there simply wasn't a good way to get testing or help... for quite awhile, I didn't even understand what I was dealing with.

Now, when I talk with parents about what dyslexia is, I can see right away that their previous misconceptions about it are being blown apart. There is an intense, hopeful interest mixed with fear on their faces..... "Could this be it?"

Learning about dyslexia and how to help a child dealing with it can be very overwhelming! I thought I'd write about the five most prominent misconceptions that I faced when I began this journey with my 8 children, starting 14 years ago with my first child who had been struggling in 4th grade in the public school system.

1. Dyslexics write their letters backwards.

First misconception for me was that I thought having dyslexia meant my child would write letters backwards.... but my oldest son never did. Most of my kids did occasionally, but it wasn't a persistent problem with all but one. Some kids are more visual-spatial and have difficulty remembering orientation of their letters when writing, but they do not see letters backwards, moved around, nor read them incorrectly.... Out of all my 8 kids who, so far, have had some degree of dyslexic tendency, the child who wrote letters backwards the most does not actually have dyslexia.

2. Teachers would've recognized my son's dyslexia in school and would've warned me.

Second misconception for me was that I thought teachers were trained to understand how to spot classic dyslexic tendencies..... but, they are not. This means children who are not severe will often get overlooked in the younger grades. They may recognize a child is below average in their ability to achieve in their reading class, but as long as they are making progress, those children are not often screened for dyslexia or other learning problems... the children will suddenly start struggling in school around 4th or 5th grade because the vocabulary gets larger and more abstract, and now their underachieving is often seen as a "behavior" problem. I can't tell you how many times I heard, "If he would just do his homework, he'd be fine." That was not really true.... he was doing his homework, but we were going through hell every night to get it done.

3. Schools would use correct teaching methods to teach my children to read.

Third misconception for me was that the schools understood the importance of teaching children to sound out words using explicit phonics .... but many schools teach sight words... for a child who has a dyslexic-prone brain, learning sight words at a young age is like a death knell for being able to learn to read well. The way my son was taught to read in school actually reinforced his dyslexia. No amount of help that the school could offer my son would have actually helped because they weren't using a proper method. As long as preschools and kindergartens are insisting on teaching young children sight words before they actually learn to decode, you will always have some children developing dyslexia.

4. All we need to do is get tested, and then we can get the help we need.

Fourth misconception for me was that if we discover the problem and get a diagnosis, then we can get therapy. Every place we looked for private help was prohibitively expensive. Most testing was around $400-600 when we looked into it, but it is even more expensive now. And most therapy is thousands and thousands of dollars.I remember feeling like my children's education was being held for ransom. The "solution" is to test through the schools, right? That is "free." So, they say.

The trouble is, if your child is only mildly dyslexic or has developed certain coping mechanisms, then that child will not test as "dyslexic." I can't even begin to tell you how many people have told me their children were tested, and before they could even say it, I would say, "Let me guess, he's borderline." That is the diagnosis they give for a child who isn't severe enough to receive therapy. (Remember, the school has to PAY for the therapy if the child is diagnosed!)

They might suggest some helpful tips, etc. and depending on how the child learns to cope and if he has parental help at home, he may eventually do well in spite of school, but many children never get the help they need because they were just "borderline." To me, that is like being "a little bit pregnant." If you have dyslexic tendencies, you need to be taught like a dyslexic. How many kids are continuing to struggle in school because they were borderline and were simply considered "underachievers?"

We did find a way to do private testing, and the Lord provided for the cost of therapy, so we did not go through the school, but I have had so many people tell me the same story after they sought school testing. If that is the only way you can get testing, be mindful what the results are saying and not saying. It doesn't mean your child doesn't need help if he is "borderline."

5. My child will never be able to succeed!

Fifth misconception for me was that my children were doomed. Even with homeschooling, trying to work through each subject each year was so challenging, and I constantly worried about whether I taught enough or whether they were capable of learning enough. I wondered if my oldest child could ever go to college (which is something he very much wanted to be able to do.)

What a blessing for me to find out that dyslexic children tend to be highly gifted! They have creative, intelligent, spatial, engineering, inventive, amazing minds. A therapist for dyslexia once told me that because of their intelligence, many children who were behind in school as children will excel as adults. I have actually seen this with family members, but also it is quite common in history. Albert Einstein who is considered one of the most intelligent men to have lived was probably dyslexic... as was Leonardo Da Vinci.... many actors, many artists... many successful businessmen!

The academic standard of success is actually quite faulty, and having been an overachiever myself where academics were easy for me, I would have continued to use this faulty measure if it hadn't been for my brilliant and talented children who struggled with their academics. I have had to undergo a paradigm shift in how I think about education and success. This was a good thing to learn!

I saw such a change in my own son when he finally received the proper tools to help him decode words. His reading comprehension soared, and he, who struggled to finish homeschool high school, was able to go to a community college and get an associates degree in computer programming... he was on the Dean's List three times and received academic recognition at one point. He loves to learn on his own now, studying Shakespeare, learning about history, learning how to write better, and is teaching himself Italian... Believe me, I NEVER saw that coming when he was a child!

Dyslexia is a gift! 

I learned that dyslexia is truly a gift, which only makes sense, since God is the One who created these amazing minds! I have learned SO much over the past 14 years since I took my son out of the public school system and began to teach him myself. I am thankful for what I have learned, as I have been able to encourage other parents of children who learn differently. I have been able to learn how to streamline the ways that I teach my younger children so that we are having success in learning to read without much difficulty, though on a different timetable from the academic world.

We have learned how to take into account their relationships with God and others, looking at their character built from hard work, and THEN looking at how they are doing with learning. Their relationships and their character are often a much better standard of measure for success.

I am thankful for my children's creative, intelligent, dyslexic minds!

Under His Wing.....