Healed Hearts

I just watched a movie about someone with cancer. It wasn't schmaltzy... it was very realistic in the whole process of normal life, then diagnosis, treatment, facing mortality, and walking out the reality of terminal illness... leaving loved ones behind....

I realized that a part of my heart has been healed in a way I didn't know it could be. Maybe it has been for awhile, but I didn't realize how much it was healed until tonight.

I watched this movie and cried at all the appropriate places. Memories came back as I remembered my friend, Shelly, and her walk through this process and my part in it, usually over the phone. Several parts of this process brought back to mind things that she had said and done or experienced.

I cried at all the appropriate places, but I didn't keep crying. I stopped in between... and even laughed occasionally. I noticed when it was over, I was calm. I wasn't crying. I don't mean that if you cry there is something wrong. I have experienced the deeper heartache that feels never-ending, and I have cried many deep, sorrowful tears.

But, instead, tonight, I realized that all my crying was for good reasons at the right times, but it wasn't for overwhelming grief. The kind of grief that makes you sob for an hour after the movie is over.

My heart has healed enough to stop crying when the sadness is done.... but, it is tender enough to cry at the right times... that is how I know it is healed. 💖