The God of All Comfort

³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 

⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶ If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷ And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

2Cor. 1:3-7

I still remember the first time I read the above passage.... well, it was the first time that I read it and really understood it.... It was in May 1995, and I was 7 weeks postpartum with my third son. His birth in April was quite traumatic for me, though we both came through the experience very well. He was born via emergency c-section for cord prolapse, and though he needed a little extra help with medication and oxygen at birth, he did very well. I had hemorrhaged and was anemic and recovering from the effects of general anesthesia, but in the end, I was ok, too, but a little emotionally scarred from the event. 

The morning of my baby's birth, when I was getting ready to go into the hospital to be induced, I had a strong sense of dread that came over me and I was literally weeping before the Lord on my knees, begging Him to take my life and spare the baby's. I really had no reason to believe this was necessary, but I couldn't help this feeling I had. I was a new Christian, so I really didn't understand it at all. Eventually, I was able to cry it out enough to say, "not my will, but Thy will be done..." not really knowing what to expect... then telling myself I was just being paranoid.....I kept reassuring myself that it would all be fine.

When the doctor told me that the baby's hand was coming through first and that meant a possible c-section, all I cared about was getting an epidural, as I no longer could cope with the pain of pitocin-induced labor on top of knowing that I may have to have surgery, too. But, during the epidural, the cord prolapsed and while my baby's life was endangered, my own body also went into shock with my blood pressure dropping dangerously low.... finally, a nurse asked to check me, and found that the cord was trapped between his little hand and head.... this set off a mad rush to the OR with drama not unlike what you would see on the TV show, ER, which was very popular at that time. It felt like the walls were collapsing around me as more and more medical staff entered the room and connected things to me and made my bed tilt upside down while a nurse pushed the baby back inside me as far as possible.

But, when they took me into the OR, I know that it was just a regular operating room.... but for some reason, I have two distinct memories of the same event.... one was the actual, physical experience of being taken into that room and being moved to the surgical table with a nurse sitting on my lap, and all kinds of rushed behaviors and hushed medical staff with the gravity of the situation.... 

But... I also have this memory of being wheeled into a room filled with legions of angels.... I've wondered at times if I made it up or if it was medication, but I still remember that moment as if it were yesterday (instead of 17 1/2 yrs.ago) I believe it was a true event in the spiritual realm. 

A peace washed over me, and I wasn't afraid to die.... even though,  when they knocked me out, I wasn't sure if the Lord was going to hold me to the bargain I had made with Him that morning...I remember falling asleep in total trust.....resting in the Palm of His hand. He had filled me and wrapped me in His comfort. 

Now, it was 7 weeks later, and I had a friend who was in labor for her first baby.... I had to go to the hospital with my little guy anyway, so just popped in for a moment to say hello... but while I was there, I noticed that no one was really very attentive to my friend while she was in quite a bit of pain.... Tentatively at first, as I didn't want to overstep my bounds, I started grabbing her hand and coaching her through her contractions... her husband and mother played with my baby, and I helped my friend onto a bedpan and breathed through more contractions with her and rubbed her back to help with back labor.... when it was time for the epidural, her family went to take a break and she asked me to be the one to stay with her, and I did.... I didn't leave until I knew she was comfortable and surrounded again by family... she delivered a little while later after I left .... 

When I came home that day, I cried. I guess I was just amazed that I could do that.... could be there and help her like that.... it felt like such an honor and privilege to me.... I was amazed at how God helped me to use what I had experienced from Him to help her.... and then, as I thought about these things, I turned on the radio, and I immediately heard a speaker say 2 Cor. 1:3-7..... just like that..... I rushed to get my bible and looked it up and cried some more.... I read that passage over and over... THAT was what God had done.... He had comforted me, and then allowed me to use that comfort to comfort others..... It was a defining moment for me, though I didn't know that back then.......

Now, He uses this same principle with me in a new way.... He has taken all the hurt and confusion of loss and grief that I have gained in losing 5 babies to miscarriage and losing my friend, Shelly, and losing my dear sister, Melinda, and the unfounded anticipation of losing one of my sons (though, we got to keep him, it was still a hard 6 months of not knowing how things would turn out......) and many other kinds of grief that I have experienced, and He has allowed me to be a person who comforts others. It is an honor and privilege as much today as it was that day in May, 1995. 

Even today, a good friend of mine went to the doctor and did not see a heartbeat on the ultrasound.... I wept for her when she told me and I hate how sad and hard it is to see someone in grief, but I am so blessed to be able to walk alongside her in the journey....as I have with many other women, many whom I have never met. The miracle of God taking a "griever" and turning her into a "comforter".... 

It feels like a calling on my life, in many ways.... His work, His glory, my blessing!

Under His Wing.....