When parents first suspect their child may have dyslexia, and they ask me about testing, I often wonder if they have any idea what they are really getting into. My mind immediately goes back to the memories of those days of frightening confusion when I didn't know what was wrong or what to do. So much research I had to do on my own because there simply wasn't a good way to get testing or help... for quite awhile, I didn't even understand what I was dealing with.
Now, when I talk with parents about what dyslexia is, I can see right away that their previous misconceptions about it are being blown apart. There is an intense, hopeful interest mixed with fear on their faces..... "Could this be it?"
Learning about dyslexia and how to help a child dealing with it can be very overwhelming! I thought I'd write about the five most prominent misconceptions that I faced when I began this journey with my 8 children, starting 14 years ago with my first child who had been struggling in 4th grade in the public school system.
1. Dyslexics write their letters backwards.
First misconception for me was that I thought having dyslexia meant my child would write letters backwards.... but my oldest son never did. Most of my kids did occasionally, but it wasn't a persistent problem with all but one. Some kids are more visual-spatial and have difficulty remembering orientation of their letters when writing, but they do not see letters backwards, moved around, nor read them incorrectly.... Out of all my 8 kids who, so far, have had some degree of dyslexic tendency, the child who wrote letters backwards the most does not actually have dyslexia.
2. Teachers would've recognized my son's dyslexia in school and would've warned me.
Second misconception for me was that I thought teachers were trained to understand how to spot classic dyslexic tendencies..... but, they are not. This means children who are not severe will often get overlooked in the younger grades. They may recognize a child is below average in their ability to achieve in their reading class, but as long as they are making progress, those children are not often screened for dyslexia or other learning problems... the children will suddenly start struggling in school around 4th or 5th grade because the vocabulary gets larger and more abstract, and now their underachieving is often seen as a "behavior" problem. I can't tell you how many times I heard, "If he would just do his homework, he'd be fine." That was not really true.... he was doing his homework, but we were going through hell every night to get it done.
3. Schools would use correct teaching methods to teach my children to read.
Third misconception for me was that the schools understood the importance of teaching children to sound out words using explicit phonics .... but many schools teach sight words... for a child who has a dyslexic-prone brain, learning sight words at a young age is like a death knell for being able to learn to read well. The way my son was taught to read in school actually reinforced his dyslexia. No amount of help that the school could offer my son would have actually helped because they weren't using a proper method. As long as preschools and kindergartens are insisting on teaching young children sight words before they actually learn to decode, you will always have some children developing dyslexia.
4. All we need to do is get tested, and then we can get the help we need.
Fourth misconception for me was that if we discover the problem and get a diagnosis, then we can get therapy. Every place we looked for private help was prohibitively expensive. Most testing was around $400-600 when we looked into it, but it is even more expensive now. And most therapy is thousands and thousands of dollars.I remember feeling like my children's education was being held for ransom. The "solution" is to test through the schools, right? That is "free." So, they say.
The trouble is, if your child is only mildly dyslexic or has developed certain coping mechanisms, then that child will not test as "dyslexic." I can't even begin to tell you how many people have told me their children were tested, and before they could even say it, I would say, "Let me guess, he's borderline." That is the diagnosis they give for a child who isn't severe enough to receive therapy. (Remember, the school has to PAY for the therapy if the child is diagnosed!)
They might suggest some helpful tips, etc. and depending on how the child learns to cope and if he has parental help at home, he may eventually do well in spite of school, but many children never get the help they need because they were just "borderline." To me, that is like being "a little bit pregnant." If you have dyslexic tendencies, you need to be taught like a dyslexic. How many kids are continuing to struggle in school because they were borderline and were simply considered "underachievers?"
We did find a way to do private testing, and the Lord provided for the cost of therapy, so we did not go through the school, but I have had so many people tell me the same story after they sought school testing. If that is the only way you can get testing, be mindful what the results are saying and not saying. It doesn't mean your child doesn't need help if he is "borderline."
5. My child will never be able to succeed!
Fifth misconception for me was that my children were doomed. Even with homeschooling, trying to work through each subject each year was so challenging, and I constantly worried about whether I taught enough or whether they were capable of learning enough. I wondered if my oldest child could ever go to college (which is something he very much wanted to be able to do.)
What a blessing for me to find out that dyslexic children tend to be highly gifted! They have creative, intelligent, spatial, engineering, inventive, amazing minds. A therapist for dyslexia once told me that because of their intelligence, many children who were behind in school as children will excel as adults. I have actually seen this with family members, but also it is quite common in history. Albert Einstein who is considered one of the most intelligent men to have lived was probably dyslexic... as was Leonardo Da Vinci.... many actors, many artists... many successful businessmen!
The academic standard of success is actually quite faulty, and having been an overachiever myself where academics were easy for me, I would have continued to use this faulty measure if it hadn't been for my brilliant and talented children who struggled with their academics. I have had to undergo a paradigm shift in how I think about education and success. This was a good thing to learn!
I saw such a change in my own son when he finally received the proper tools to help him decode words. His reading comprehension soared, and he, who struggled to finish homeschool high school, was able to go to a community college and get an associates degree in computer programming... he was on the Dean's List three times and received academic recognition at one point. He loves to learn on his own now, studying Shakespeare, learning about history, learning how to write better, and is teaching himself Italian... Believe me, I NEVER saw that coming when he was a child!
Dyslexia is a gift!
I learned that dyslexia is truly a gift, which only makes sense, since God is the One who created these amazing minds! I have learned SO much over the past 14 years since I took my son out of the public school system and began to teach him myself. I am thankful for what I have learned, as I have been able to encourage other parents of children who learn differently. I have been able to learn how to streamline the ways that I teach my younger children so that we are having success in learning to read without much difficulty, though on a different timetable from the academic world.
We have learned how to take into account their relationships with God and others, looking at their character built from hard work, and THEN looking at how they are doing with learning. Their relationships and their character are often a much better standard of measure for success.
I am thankful for my children's creative, intelligent, dyslexic minds!
Under His Wing.....
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